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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Help Wanted...

Which boss do you want?
Or should I say...which one do you want in charge of your city?

Employer: Troy Tea Drinkers
Position: Library Director for Troy Public Library
Requirements: Must be able to wear hair in bun; must wear spectacles. Would need to take a few training courses.
Compensation: Whatever regular people make plus four weeks vacation. Period.

Employer: City of Troy
Position: Library Director
Requirements: Level 1 certificate and corresponding education/experience as specified in the www.michigan.gov document outlining public library requirements.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and qualifications, based on local averages for similar positions.
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Employer: Troy Tea Drinkers
Position: Librarian for Troy Public Library
Requirements: Well, you know…whatever the store manager at Borders does.
Compensation: Whatever regular people make plus four weeks vacation. Period.

Employer: City of Troy
Position: Librarian
Requirements: Level 3 certification and corresponding education/experience as specified in the www.michigan.gov document outlining public library requirements.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and qualifications, based on local averages for similar positions.
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Employer: Troy Tea Drinkers
Position: Chief of Po-lice
Requirements: Should look like Barney Fife, be willing to work hard for very little pay.
Compensation: How much does a security guard at Somerset make?? That, plus four weeks vacation. Period.

Employer: City of Troy
Position: Chief of Police
Requirements: B.S. degree in criminal justice and police academy training; suggested training in public administration, police staffing and command, FBI skills/tactics and more.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and qualifications, based on local averages for similar positions.
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Employer: Troy Tea Drinkers
Position: Po-lice officer
Requirements: Must be able to drive a 20year old stick shift vehicle that breaks down, use antique equipment and know how to type on a Selectric typewriter (we got rid o’ them spendy computers). Background check optional; regular people don’t need that, do they?
Compensation: How many times do we have to tell you??? WHAT REGULAR PEOPLE MAKE…plus four weeks vacation. Period.

Employer: City of Troy
Position: Police Officer
Requirements: Graduate of Law Enforcement Academy minimum requirement; must pass all pertinent background checks and/or fingerprinting requirements.
Compensation: Commensurate with experience and qualifications, based on local averages for similar positions.

3 comments:

  1. Wow! I'm surprised they start out with four weeks of vacation! Is it paid or unpaid leave?

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  2. Umm...it's a joke, actually. But the point is that one particular tea drinker thinks that a "regular" city manager in a neighboring city would accept that as his/her ONLY perk. I was pointing out that the acceptable Tea Drinker salary would only be what "regular" people make and a vacation...nothing else. Because...you know...that's REALISTIC.

    ReplyDelete